T'OTHERWITH BOY; Part Three.

BULLIES; A WHOLE BUNCH OF GRANTHAMS; RABBIT WALL

“Pain is part of growing up, it’s how we learn.” Dan Brown.

Purdie was the eldest of seven born to to Old Tom and Sarah Ann Purdue. They named her Beatrice. “Purdie” became her school nickname, but the folk of t’Otherwith called her Mrs Purdie - apart from the two railway coach families at the Chestnuts who mistakenly thought she was Mrs Morris. When she was young she had to help raise her siblings, and was the last to leave the nest, at the age of 38. Her son then was the youngest of all the cousins, one of whom actually had three kids older than Our Boy. The entire family found him a bit strange, but never spoke of this to him or to Purdie. The kids at school however, made it a point to either tease or bully. Teasing was mostly OK, he could laugh with them, he was already well inured to words, but sticks and stones…… Cuts, bruises and broken teeth were another thing….. how then must one respond - without violence ?

Searching for escape routes, Our boy soon had the entire town mapped in his head, every alleyway, every loose shed door, every hideyhole. After school many of the bullies congregated outside of “Mugginsis” slot arcades. About a hundred meters or so away was a labyrinth of alleys, gardens and outbuildings, plus a mountain of random timbers stacked against a high wall. The entrance to this land of secret safe places afforded a view point of the bullies. A two minute tirade of “Yahsucksboos” would stampede them in his direction, but he was never to be found. One time he had even raced up the woodpile throwing himself over the wall into the Pub’s carpark beyond. OhOoops ! Misjudged ! Crash ! through the roof of the Pub’s chicken coop. Gasping with pain and laughter, the reward of baffled yells of the yonder idiots futile search party wafting over the wall, he rose, bleeding and turning…. OhOoops ! face to face with the Pub’s guard dog - fortunately too surprised to act or even bark, enabled Our Boy to limp away …… to laugh again another day.

But it was not just the bullies that had to be contended with. Some of the adults would act really “peculiar”. The art teacher that punished boys hand’s using the same stick that he would prod the girls breasts with, before taking them into the class storeroom. The scoutmaster who told strange tales whilst trying to remove one’s shorts. The priest in his office with another boy, both half undressed. This priest then banned Our Boy from the church, stating that there was no place there for a disbeliever. Soon afterwards this church closed for years, the priest being suddenly whisked away. The unmarried photographer who fostered five Bernado Boys….. Such mysteries would not become clear for years, in the meantime, such scary people were to be avoided. Anyway, such people did not present adventures equal to dragons, bejewelled cats, or being a secret agent…..

Time for Big School arrived and with it a new friend, a boy who always had a crowd with him. Safety in numbers ? “Who’s that ?” “David Grantham.” Oh wow, sounds good ! “Is Sgt Grantham your Dad ?” “No, he’s not even from round here. My Dad is called Arthur and we live in Arthur Street.” “Crikey ! Is the street named after your Dad ?” “No, but it should be, we have a big garden, do you want to come for some of my Mum’s Lemonade ?” With which a lifelong friendship was formed.

That was the year when Princess Elizabeth was going to give every kid in the world a nice new mug bearing a picture of her in a new diamond hat. “There’s going to be a big parade along Queen St” said Purdie “All the kids will get the day off school to wave flags” Our boy wondered if the bejewelled cat belonged to Princess Elizabeth, he would have to ask her. The day arrived, the mugs arrived, the flags arrived, the parade arrived……. but, disappointingly no Princess….. “Aaah” said Purdie “She had to be in London today for the Queen’s coronation” Suddenly t’Otherwith Boy understood ! So that’s why the parade was along Queen Street ! “Will she come tomorrow ?”

The Granthams had a big house, with a big family in it. Arthur and Elsie, David’s brother Alan, Elsie brother Herbert, an ancient Auntie, a grumpy Grandma and often lots of visiting relatives who came from Somewhere Elsie. “is it named after your Mum ?” But they all just laughed at this, except Grumpy Gran…. Baffling. Arthur had a Greenhouse full of green tomatoes, that were without milled ewe, whatever that was. Arthur and Herbert were both bus drivers. Every day they went to Kingstown-Upper-Number and back, sometimes twice. They both gave David and Alan pocket money, but Arthur didn’t know about that.

The school decided to raise some extra cash to help school dinners and school trips. They published a magazine, inviting the kids to provide content, and to sell copies to family and neighbors. Our boy always had a page, and was the only kid who knocked on every door. The first year he sold so many the school have him ten Bob (50 old pence), and decided to offer prize money to the two kids who sold the most, next year -when he won first prize - One whole pound, and thus encouraged in the third year, he sold more than half the mags. The school gave him both prizes !! which he invested in wholesale packets of stamps to make even more cash. An entrepreneur born….

David would ride his bike pulling t’Otherwith Boy along in his soapbox cart to Little England Hill, where they would swap and race each other down both sides, never caring about cars that might whizz round the bends. Soon all the other Cartees would be there with them. Complaint were made, parents forbade the activity, so the cheerful cheeky pair simply went a bit further and higher - to Rise Island Hill. One time David copped a double puncture, a long walk home thus. But there was plenty of sunshine hours yet, so they stashed their vehicles and climbed up to the Water Tower, discovering a party of diggers down the collapsed peak. The rest of the summer they spent their Sundays digging along the crown, finding likely evidence of castle fortifications. But no trace of a Dragon…….

One of the more popular teachers was local born, his Dad owning a Newsagency, an American styled cafe, with a connecting door to his Cinema. All the kids were members of his Saturday club. After hauling holidaymakers bags in our soapbox carts we would troop into the cinema to cheer on Tarzan, Flash Gordon, and John Wayne vanquishing their foes. All club members received a birthday present of unsold comics, and discounted icecream. Then Coca Cola arrived in Britain at 2.5 Pence per bottle = 96 bottles for one pound, but for the first 6 weeks the kids could buy a bottle for just One penny. Hurray for our diabetic futures as yet unknown. Next thing was Bill Haley’s Comets in Rock Around the Clock. Wow, what excitement !! First Bus out on Monday morning was full of school skippers on their way to Kingstown, determined to buy every guitar that could be found. David amongst them, fare free thanks to Uncle Herbert.

The following Summer David found a girlfriend and Our Boy found part time jobs with deckchairs and tennis courts. Purdie moved to a house on the Promenade, and then to another. Quite handy for Sandcastle Competitions and not quite drowning. Then the town started staging t’Otherwith Galas each year. The Adults and the big kids did a two mile swim race, Our Boy tagging along, finally finding a sport he enjoyed. But all this aquatic stuff made Purdie rather nervous, especially when that Winter her Only Child swam on Xmas Day, walking home barefoot in the snow. She sold up and they returned to the Lassels house.

Every time they moved she would redecorate with “End of Batch” wallpapers, never enough for an entire room, so the Chimney breasts were always “A Feature” for her visitors to talk about at home. The ends of rolls came in handy for her son as drawing paper. One of his classmates bred rabbits, making an adult wage at 13 years old. He described in great detail the way this worked, and Our Boy drew multiple plans to emulate the exercise. Said plans on reversed wallpaper soon covered his bedroom wall, the Aunts talked about it for weeks. He asked the woodwork teacher for mahogany so as to make a beautiful piece of furniture for his Mum. A ruse that ended up as a posh hutch…. He pestered for a piece of the large garden for his Rabbit Run. Purdie demurred, and they moved to another house where she promptly rented out the garden to the chap next door…

Couple of doors to the other side was a cacti grower who offered Our Boy well paid work in his greenhouse. Turned out he had other motives…… Purdie finally realized there were a lot of “funny” men in town. Time to move again. Her son would have his final school year back in Kingstown-Upper-Number, where he would then have a better chance of finding decent full time employment, and she would be back close to her parents and siblings. T’Otherwith Boy would miss his best pal, on the strength of which, he could have a Raleigh Blue Streak; a popular but heavy mass produced cycle, totally unfit for the 18 mile ride to visit Pal David. Our boy also persuaded his Mum to buy him a cool Rock’n’Roll Jacket with a pair blue suede crepe soles, to match his Elvis Haircut and Cookie comb. All for his new school. Dig Me ! Daddio…..

TO BE REVISITED.

NeXt Article (Last one this year). 13th Dec. HEALTHCARE SHOULD BE FREE.

Over the Festivities I will be on the road again, Probably posting plans for next years postings, prior to returning to my regular stuff on the 10th Jan. All the very best to you all, many thanks for your interest and kindnesses these last few months. And thanks also to the Substack team who have made our community possible. Peace, Maurice.